Daddy and Daughter

It's that time of year again... not just time for the holidays, but time for Stephen to be swamped with work. As we all know, the great thing about being a teacher is having the summers off-- but for the rest of the year, being an English teacher is an all-consuming job, especially as the end of each semester nears. The workday doesn't end at 5:00 p.m., and the weekends are rarely "off," especially for someone with 96 students. I can't even remember the last time Stephen was able to come home after work, eat supper, and relax for the rest of the night. The last three months of each semester are ridiculously busy for him, beginning with the first round of essays he receives for grading.

Our lives have evolved around universities for the entire time we've known each other, so for better or worse, we've long been accustomed to the insanity of spending late nights in front of the computer screen and weekends without any free time. But now that we have Bella, I want things to be different. I don't ever want for Stephen to look back at his life and wish that he'd spent more time with Bella as she was growing up, because that is one wish that cannot be granted, and once this fleeting period of our life is over, that's it. There's no going back to Bella's childhood, and before we know it, she'll be too busy and cool for us.

So our challenge for this semester is to make family time a priority each and every day (as opposed to Stephen being engulfed by his work all day, and all night, which can very easily happen to him at this point in the semester). As the fall semester has progressed, we've found some semblance of a routine that works well for us and gives Stephen and Bella one-on-one time together (which means I get some much-needed solitude for myself as well)...

When the weather is nice, Stephen will often take Bella for a walk outside after he gets home from work. This gives him some exercise and a chance to release the stress of the day, Bella loves it, and I get some time alone to cook while listening to music of my choice (a relief after hearing automated tunes on Bella's toys all day).


He helps feed Bella her supper (or "slop," as he calls her mushy food) while I finish cooking our supper.


Since I'm the slowest eater on earth, Stephen usually ends up holding Bella and playing with her at the table while I finish my food. Then he entertains her while I clean up the kitchen. Sometimes this entertainment comes in the form of dancing with her, reading to her, or serenading her on the guitar.


Next comes Bella's most-loved part of the day, bath time!


Stephen does a great job of making bath time fun for her. By this point, he's ready for dessert, and often tries to get a nibble of her luscious side-meat.


If he's still hungry, Bella will usually let him take a nip at her toes.


And inevitably he has to blow on her belly to get some giggles.


Eventually, she finds her way into her p.j.s (and tries on a pink terrycloth wig).


Then it's time for baby to go to bed, and for Stephen to sit down in front of the computer for more grading.

All of this takes from two to three hours, and it's the highlight of our day. It's ironic, all these things Stephen does with Bella could be seen as babycare chores-- bathing, feeding, dressing, changing-- but they are the foundation of their bond. And after Stephen has done this nightly ritual with Bella, he's like a different person from the one who walked in the door after work. He's refreshed, relaxed, and happy. (I hate to think about how much fathers missed out on, back when they didn't participate in these joyful little baby tasks.) After a busy day, I can't think of any better reward for an overworked father than to spend time with his precious little girl. Bella always manages to brighten up Stephen's day with her irresistible baby charm.