Coming to Terms

We got a HUGE surprise yesterday! My mom told me last week that she was going to have Easter lunch delivered for us, and I wondered how she'd found a place to deliver Easter lunch in Athens (her google skills are okay but she's not THAT good), but I didn't think much about it. Lunch time came around, and a familiar car pulled up in our driveway with an Alabama tag. It was my mom and her bf John, who drove seven hours round trip in one day to bring us lunch, food to eat the rest of the week, and presents for the baby! I'd just gotten out of the shower when they pulled up and was still in my robe with my hair wrapped in a towel with no make up on when they walked in! Mom loves to surprise people and I think she got an extra kick out of it when she saw me still in my robe. She brought a bouncy seat for the baby and lots of newborn size clothes, so baby Bella will have some cute clothes to wear while she is tiny! I feel really fortunate to have a mom who cares so much and is so generous with her help in our time of need. I still can't believe how far they drove in one day to see us!



I've been amazed at how many people have reached out to us with encouragement, support, prayers, and reassurance. It has been awesome to feel so much love from so many people. At a time when there's not much we can do to make our situation better, it is a blessing just to know that other people care and are thinking about us and hoping for the best along with us.

It's been especially helpful to be in contact with other c-section mothers. Almost everyone I've talked to had a positive experience with their c-section, especially if they knew about it beforehand. I'm SO grateful to know about mine before it happens and to have the opportunity to prepare for it and try to make the best of it. I never would have imagined that I would end up with a c-section, and I know I would have had post-partum depression written all over me if I'd ended up with an unplanned one. It is still weird to think that my belly is going to be sliced open, some of my most important organs are going to be moved around, and our daughter is going to be cut out of me, but all of my previous dreams of a natural labor don't matter one bit when compared to the safe delivery of our baby. I talked to another mother who'd also planned for a natural birth until she found out she had a breech baby with the umbilical cord wrapped around it's neck-- and all of a sudden she wanted that c-section really badly! I feel the exact same way and I am immensely grateful that the knowledge and technology exists to bring our baby safely out into the world. It is so strange to think that the womb that has been the perfect home for my baby for so many months could become such a dangerous place if she were to stay in it much longer, and that labor, one of the most amazing processes our bodies are designed for, would be so dangerous for both of us.

Even though we aren't going to be able to do a natural birth, I am SO glad that we were preparing for one, because our interest in a natural birth is what set off the chain of events that eventually made us aware of the complications with my case of placenta previa. Had we not been pursuing a natural birth, we never would have asked my doctor the questions that led her to refer us to the specialist who discovered the severity of our placenta situation, and I hate to think what would have happened had we not known about that. It's so crazy and random that it's terrifying. Also, I think that preparing for a natural birth has made my pregnancy a much better experience overall. That's what inspired me to exercise regularly and motivated me to keep my weight gain within the recommended range, and at this point in my pregnancy I think I am feeling good physically because of that.

Being on bedrest is tough sometimes because there are still things I'd like to take care of before the big day gets here, but I try to only do one "big" activity per day, and when a morning shower is counted as a big activity, not much else can get done! But bedrest is definitely helping to keep pre-term labor at bay, along with the medications I'm taking to stop contractions, so it is all worth it! We'll be finding out the results of the amniocentesis Thursday afternoon, then the doctors can figure out which day to schedule the c-section. It looks like it will either be scheduled for Friday morning or for one day early next week. We are all kind of hoping for next week so she'll have a little more time in utero, but the specialist says there is no benefit to waiting once her lungs are matured, and the longer we wait the more likely that I'll start having contractions that don't want to stop (pre-term labor is fairly common with previas), so we need to get her out as soon as possible. I'm just ready to have my little girl safe in my arms!

Preggo Pics

We thought we'd better get some more big belly shots since we don't know how much longer Isabella is going to be in there!

35 weeks

Good News and Bad News

First I want to say thanks to you ladies who like the name we've picked out-- it has been so nice to hear some positive feedback after all the stress and anxiety we've been through lately!

A week ago, we went to a maternal fetal medicine specialist to get an advanced ultrasound done to check on the placenta. While we were there we found out really bad news, but the good news is that we are at least aware of the situation and can try to make the best of it now.

We've known ever since the week 20 ultrasound that I have a low-lying placenta, but those are fairly common early in pregnancy and normally move up and away from the point of danger-- the cervix-- over time. At a week 24 ultrasound it was moving in the right direction, but when I went back at week 32 it had taken a nosedive and was overlapping the edge of my cervix, which is called a marginal placenta previa. Previas occur in one of every 200 pregnancies, and they aren't genetic, so if you're related to me don't worry that this will happen to you too! Partial placenta previa isn't always a problem, and normally women are able to go through a closely monitored trial labor in this situation and can often have a safe birth that way. However, the advanced color doppler ultrasound I had last week revealed that there are major blood vessels on the small portion of the placenta which is overlapping the edge of my cervix, which makes everything a lot more complicated. If I were to start experiencing labor contractions and dilating, the force of contractions combined with the movement of the cervix would probably cause the major blood vessels over the cervix to rupture, putting both of us in a very bad situation with all the blood that would be lost very quickly.

It has been really hard to come to terms with all of this. This is exactly the kind of pregnancy that would not have ended well not that long ago, and it's hard for me to wrap my mind around how dangerous this situation could be and how fortunate we are to know about it. The advanced ultrasound I had done is more powerful than a 3D ultrasound and isn't routine procedure at all. I feel so lucky that my doctor ever thought to refer me to get one done and I hate to think what could have happened had I started labor naturally, the way I've been planning to for months.

Now I'm under the care of the team of OB/GYNs at my regular practice, as well as a maternal fetal medicine specialist, and I feel like I'm in good hands between all of them. The specialist, Dr. Rosemund, is the one calling most of the shots at this point, and the plan is to do a c-section as soon as the baby's lungs are matured. Normally it's best to leave the baby in as long as possible, but in my case we have to get her out before contractions become likely. We're doing an amniocentesis next Thursday, the day I turn 36 weeks, to test the amount of surfectant in the baby's lungs, which will show how matured they are. (If you're not familiar with preggo lingo, this is a test that is done by inserting a needle into the abdomen and withdrawing a little amniotic fluid from the area surrounding the baby). I took a couple of big steroid shots in my butt last week to help her lungs develop more quickly. If the test shows her lungs are ready, we'll do the c-section that afternoon or the next day. If her lungs are not developed enough to get her out right away, they will estimate how many more days it will take for them to mature and plan the c-section accordingly, but they will not wait until I turn 37 weeks because of the increasing danger of contractions starting.

So this means our little Isabella could be born as soon as nine days from now, four weeks before her due date, and I think she will be born by two weeks from now at the very latest! As you can imagine, this has been a lot to take in and it's been a struggle to adjust to all of this news. Last week was really tough, but I was beginning to feel better by Sunday and felt so good that I started doing a little housework to get ready for the baby, then Sunday night I started bleeding and having contraction and we spent the next 12 hours at the hospital. They gave me shots of a muscle relaxer to stop the contractions, and we were able to get the contractions and bleeding under control within a couple of hours. Later the specialist, Dr. Rosemund, came to do an ultrasound and found that everything looked fine for the baby and the placenta and sent me home with directions for bedrest and a warning that if I have another episode of bleeding and contractions, I will have to stay in the hospital until it's time to do the c-section. I really did not enjoy being at the hospital-- being attached to a fetal monitor all the time, having an IV that bruised my entire forearm, wearing a hospital gown, eating hospital food, and trying to sleep in a triage room with all kinds of noise through the night-- so now I'm doing everything I can to prevent anymore contractions, staying off my feet, limiting the time I spend sitting upright, drinking as much water as I can. Stephen's "Mr. Mom" training from the first trimester is coming back into play now because I can't do much of anything if I want to prevent going back to the hospital any sooner than I have to. We are just hoping that everything will turn out okay and that we will have a healthy baby girl within a couple of weeks!

We Have a Name!

What happens when you put two English majors together and they need to come up with a name for their first baby? Well, they are really picky! We started a list of names back before we even conceived, but by the time we found out we were having a girl, we hated most of the names on our list. It's a lot of pressure to figure out a good name for your child... what if they hate it?? What if it doesn't fit their personality? They are going to be stuck with it their whole life!

We came up with a name at Christmas that I hope she will like. It's the ONLY girl name that both of us really liked (like I said, we're picky!) and I had a list of TEN criteria that the name had to meet, so that narrowed down an awful lot of name possibilities and this is one of the few that met all of them. (That's what happens when you have a name like Loreal Mercile Ing... you get really opinionated about the kind of name you want for your kid!) We wanted to wait a while to make sure we wanted to stick with the name before announcing it to many people, because I personally didn't want to be swayed by anyone else's opinions. All that matters to us is that our daughter likes her name, and that we like it, since we're the ones who are going to be saying it over and over.

So, this is the name we've picked for our baby girl: Isabella Jane. If you want to hear the story behind it, this is it: Stephen really wanted to use Jane for a first name, but I couldn't agree with it because I wanted something with multiple syllables and with a musical, feminine sound to balance out the flat, short sound of Brooks. Stephen came up with the name Isabella, which I wasn't crazy about at first, but I loved the idea of using Bella for a nickname. Isabella grew on me before long, and it turned out being the only name that could meet the criteria of all the things that matter to me in a name for our child. I was not nearly so picky about a middle name, I just wanted something that would give her some versatility so that if she gets tired of having a flowery name like Isabella, she can use the short basic name Jane instead.

We put hours and hours into researching names and narrowing down names, including reading through an entire book about names. (It was not until we'd already become attached to the name Isabella that I was informed that it is also the name for one of the main characters in the Twilight series. Oh, well! Hopefully people won't assume we named her after that character, and Twilight seems like the kind of fad series that will probably die out over time anyways.) So, we still really like the name Isabella Jane after several months of thinking about it and we feel really good about it. I hope you like it too! We are excited that our little Isabella will be joining us soon!

Baby Update

We recently had another ultrasound and got to see the baby doing some really cool tricks, like blinking and sticking out her tongue. She weighed in at four lbs. two oz., and they said she'll probably weigh a little over eight pounds at her due date. It's crazy to think that something that big is in there and that she's going to double in weight in the next couple of months! (Does that mean my tummy is going to get double the size it is now, too?! Every week I think that it can't possibly get any bigger than it already is, but it manages to keep expanding!)

We're having a bit of an issue with the placenta, which is why I keep having ultrasounds to get it monitored, because it's attached low instead of high in the uterus. Fortunately, it's not low enough to be placenta previa, but it is low enough to cause potential problems during labor and delivery. It's not at the point where the doctor thinks a c-section should be planned, but it does put us at a higher risk for one if it moves lower or if it becomes detached. I REALLY want to do a natural birth, and we have put a lot of time into preparing for one, so it's a little tough for me to be accepting of the possibility of c-section. Obviously, the most important thing is to get the baby out safe and sound, so I'm trying to look at the bright sides to a c-section... especially since the baby turned from the head-first position she's been in since the week 20 ultrasound, to a breech position yesterday. I know she still has plenty of time to turn back to the head-first position, and that the doctor can try to fix it if she doesn't do it herself, but I was really sad most of today thinking that a c-section seems to becoming more and more of a possibility. Not to mention that I'm way more uncomfortable since she turned because her kicks are capable of delivering a lot of pain when they hit things like my bladder and cervix, which were only receiving mild punches before now. I just didn't know how good I had it while she was head-down!

On a brighter note, one thing that has made me really happy lately is seeing how excited Stephen is getting about the baby's impending arrival. Last week we had our childcare class, and I was so proud of him for practicing changing a diaper, giving a bath, swaddling, and holding a baby. The man sitting next to him is expecting twin boys and refused to practice any of the baby care stuff! I feel so sorry for his wife! I think these classes have really helped us both to feel more confident about taking care of a baby. A couple of days after the class, our friends Judd and Rachel came to stay with us for a couple of nights with their adorable eight-month old daughter, Camila, and it was really nice for us to spend time with another baby before having one of our own. Stephen did such a good job with her, too. He played guitar for her and had fun helping her try to walk. He's going to be such a good father!

Our Beautiful Baby Shower

This weekend we had an awesome baby shower in Alabama and got so many wonderful things for our little girl!



We feel so blessed to truly be "showered" with gifts for our baby! Stephen's Blazer was so full of presents on the way home that we couldn't even see out the back window!



We had some delicious food, including lovely petit fours, vegetable and fruit trays and dips, cheese cubes, crackers, chicken salad hors d'oeuvres, cookies, and of course nuts. And a wonderful apple punch with a floating ice ring made out of apple slices!






These are the FABULOUS hostesses who made everything possible!

My wonderful friend and baby shower expert Jenny!



Lauren and Jan, dear friends of me and my mom since she and I moved to Alabama 15 years ago.



And the grandmothers-to-be!



I'm especially grateful to my mom for letting us have the shower at her house!



I am also really proud of my hubby for coming (after only a moderate amount of prodding from me) and being the photographer and talking to all the guests. All the women were really sweet to him and wanted to know about his job and life in Athens, so luckily he didn't get scarred by the enormous amounts of estrogen combined with all the pink!



Thirty people came to our shower, including many family friends and women from Stephen's family. We really feel loved! None of the women in my own family live east of the Mississippi River, so we are truly grateful for all of these wonderful ladies who have been like family to us for many years.









We can't wait for our little girl to get here, she has lots of lovely things to wear and play with now!

Stephen's New Band!

Yep, we have only lived here for six months and Stephen already has a new band put together. He's been working on this one ever since our first week in Athens, when a guitarist named Robin answered an ad Stephen put on craigslist, and they've been playing together ever since. Stephen and Robin have been through a couple of bassists and drummers that didn't quite work, but now they've found an awesome rhythm section that seem perfect-- I think this band is complete! Yesterday I went to a practice for the first time since the new members joined, and they sounded great. I'm really excited for Stephen! He has more than 10 original finished songs now, and his new band members are really interested in them. In fact, they haven't worked up a single cover song yet, they have just been focusing on Stephen's originals. I hear these pieces from their conception, when they are just a few chords and words put together, and it's always really fun to see how they evolve once drums, bass, and guitars are fused together. I can't wait to see what the new band does with them! Athens is supposed to be a great town for music, so we'll see what happens there. And if anything does happen, hopefully it won't be too hard to convince the grandparents to come out and babysit so we can make this thing work...



The drummer is hidden behind a support beam, and the bassist didn't make it into the frame... (Sorry for the crappy angle, I was sitting in the one available chair and was not about to get my pregnant butt up to take better pictures!) But are you seeing all this awesome equipment?! We're finding that one of the advantages of getting older is that people finally have money to spend on their music equipment. These boys can make some real music with all this great equipment! All the guys in the band are thirty-somethings (except Stephen) and that is an advantage too. They are all married with young children of their own (this means no practices that go late into the night! Yay!), with nine-to-five jobs and college degrees, and are mature, dependable, stable people (a very nice change from some of the younger musicians Stephen has played with!).



30 weeks at the Georgia State Botanical Gardens, a real Athens gem we discovered this weekend. I can't wait to see how beautiful it will be in the spring and summer, when we can take baby pictures there!