A Year Later

Bella's first birthday is almost here, and lately I've been thinking about what was happening at this time a year ago, but apparently I have blocked a lot of it out. Everyone says that's Mother Nature's way of encouraging further procreation, and I think she had a good idea. It just doesn't seem like it could have been me who spent those awful nights in the hospital with early labor, had those long stressful days on bedrest trying to will contractions away, and endured the painful and emotional days after birth. They seem more like scenes from a movie, not scenes from my life. One of my friends is at 35 weeks right now, almost exactly where I was at this time last year, and is going through the whole early labor nightmare I went through... Another friend just had a baby girl at only 31 weeks because of preeclampsia. I don't know why pregnancy and birth have to be so difficult, but I do know that we are unbelievably fortunate to live in a time and place where good health care saves many of the women and babies who would not have been so lucky without it. Even so, it's hard to imagine going through all of that again anytime soon...

But babies are the best, and I feel incredibly lucky to have Bella in my life. And I have to say that it's funny how much changes when you become a parent. You finally get to find out what other parents mean when they try to describe the indescribable-- how much they love their children. You get to laugh every day at your own little creation. You find that regurgitated food is not in the least bit disgusting when it spews out of your own little creation, and even stinky breath doesn't really stink when it's your sweet little baby's breath. I love watching all the exciting little triumphs Bella makes each day, and to me they are more exciting than anything else I was doing before Bella was born. It's funny to think that something as simple as curling up with Stephen and Bella to read her a story before bed is often my favorite part of the day, and that many of the things that mattered before Bella was born don't matter at all now.

It's unbelievable that Bella is already practically a year old. I feel like we are finally getting into a productive groove, on a daily basis, and I can't believe that it has taken this long to do that. Little by little, I'm finding ways to get more and more things done while I'm watching Bella, and I feel like I'm finally starting to climb back on top of things again. I don't expect to ever be completely back on top of things like I used to be before Bella, and that's okay. One of the most important lessons I've learned as a mom is to learn to let go and to accept that being halfway up that mountain is okay-- no need to be on top of it anymore. I feel no pressure whatsoever to be Supermom (many thanks for that to the honest and supportive group of mom friends I have). Simply maintaining sanity is good enough for me right now. Maintaining sanity is a real accomplishment, actually, and it feels pretty fabulous whenever it happens.

I have finally started exercising again on most days, and that feels fabulous, too. Doing yoga and pilates while a baby is crawling all over and under me is a new experience. It's absolutely NOT the peaceful, pristine environment you're supposed to have while practicing, but so what?! It still gets the job done, and it works the abs with the extra laughs I get from watching Bella gleefully prop up on me (like I need the extra resistance) and crawl through my downward dog.

(Letting go= happiness. I repeat: Letting go= happiness.)



Yes, she is totally worth it. Worth the sleepless nights, the shrill cries, the soon-to-be sagging boobs, the monstrous surgical scar, the loss of extra income, privacy, personal time, and brainpower. That sounds like an awful lot to give up, but it's nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the happiness and the immeasurable amount of love that this sweet soul brings into our lives each and every day.

11 Months Old!

I've officially earned The Worst Blogger of the Year Award. It has been a ridiculously long time since my last blog, and I know you are all anxious to see what my little girl is up to and what she's looking like these days. Apparently, I haven't made a Bella update since she was six months old. (The decrease in blogging has coincided with the increase of mobility... and the increase in my exhaustion, and decrease in free time... lots of increases and decreases going on around here.) We're busy, and when we aren't busy, we're tired! But we are also enjoying every day with Bella and loving watching all the advancements she's making! So to bring you up to speed, this is what's been going on in the life of Bella for the last few months:

Seven months old: This is when the babbling really began! ("Babble" has truly lived up to her uterine nickname. People often comment about how "vocal" she is... And she's also an expert at making crowing and growling noises. We know she's displeased whenever she starts growling!) Bella's first tooth came through (on the bottom) and she learned to sit well unsupported. She also went to the polls to vote for the very first time (she was definitely the cutest voter there).

Learning to sit up all by herself!


The first tooth!


Eight months: Three more teeth came in, the pincer grasp developed (we are now vacuuming a LOT more), she started drinking from a sippy cup by herself (for the longest time she liked to turn it upside down more than she liked to turn it up into her mouth), she began feeding herself finger foods, and she started saying dada! (And dadadadada...) Bella also went to her first Christmas concert, and met Santa for the first time (no tears involved!). Then there was the first Christmas, New Years, and National Championship game!

"Look ma, one hand!" (Yes, there was a lid on that cup!)


Santa's little helper.


Bella wearing my old Christmas dress, from 1983, when I was 13 months old. And Loucille with all her descendants. She's just a little proud...


Bella on Christmas day, wearing her gorgeous Christmas dress from Sonya and Dad.


New Year's Eve hike


Bella cheering Auburn on to victory! Auburn won the college football National Championship in January!!!! War eagle!!!!


Nine months: Bella started crawling, pushing herself into a sitting position, waving bye-bye, clapping her hands, and saying mama! She started differentiating between mama and dada, looking at the right person when I ask her where daddy is and where mommy is. She also started recognizing her own name! It's so cute when she stops everything to turn around and see who's saying "Bella." And this milestone is not on the charts, but Bella also learned how to do semi-headstands, kinda like downward-facing dog, if you're familiar with yoga. It's one of her favorite things to do! I think we may have a little gymnast in the making. She started losing interest in many of her toys at this point and became much more intrigued by exploring her surroundings: licking tile floors, scooting herself across linoleum, pulling up air vents, opening cabinet doors, and chewing furniture.



Bella went to her first jazz concert, and her first music store, where she played on a Baldwin grand piano and a drum kit for the first time. (We are in hot debate over what her first instrument should be. I say piano, Stephen says drums, but my guess is that she will want to play guitar like her Daddy. She loves to play with her toy xylophone, her miniature out-of-tune piano, our miniature keyboard, djembe, shaker, and anything else that makes a sound.) She also went to her first art museum, where she saw her first Picasso, Warhol, O'Keeffe, and silverware made by Paul Revere. AND she picked up a bug for the first time, a dead cockroach (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I got it before she put it in her mouth and promptly washed her hands with antibacterial dish soap. Thankfully, we were out in public when this happened. The ear-splitting scream I would have given if we'd been at home would have probably traumatized her.

The results from her Bella's nine-month check-up: 18 lbs., 28", growing in the same percentiles she's been in. I was very proud when she impressed the pediatrician by following my directions to "look at Mommy" during the ear exam so the doctor could get a better view inside her ear!

10 Months old: Bella said "bye" when waving a few times, began saying "hi" to greet us and other people we see, and "kitty" when she sees a cat. Of course these words are not completely discernible to the untrained ear, but it's so exciting to us when she learns new words! She also started pointing with her finger, and pulling herself up, but she's not too interested in cruising just yet.

Isaac and Bella on a playdate. Next time, we are going to take the picture before they get tired and hungry!


11 Months: Bella is starting to lose a little of the need to automatically put EVERYTHING in her mouth, so now we can introduce her little hands to lots of new objects, like flowers. It's so cute to watch her hold a little flower in her hand for 30 minutes at a time while we're taking walks! She is also developing a definite opinion of her own, and is not afraid to express it.



Being introduced to sea shells at Lake Guntersville. She loved them!


And as far as everything else goes, we are doing well. The holidays were nice, and Bella had snow for her very first Christmas! That was neat, because we've never had a white Christmas before. Stephen is more than halfway through the new semester, and he's teaching three classes this time, which means that life is much more manageable than it was last semester. His band, Junker, is still playing shows around town, and they are recording three songs for their first E.P. at the pedal steel player's home studio. I'm doing a part-time job once a week right now, while Stephen is Mr. Mom at home. Bella and I are also going to the local mother's center once a week. Bella loves watching the other kids there and she also enjoys taking their toys. We've finally almost finished Bella's room, and I promise to post pictures when it's done. (One room almost done, six more to go! HOLY COW!) The rest of our house still looks like we just moved in two weeks ago, because we still haven't unpacked anything besides the necessities. I think all those boxes of extra stuff in the garage may have a future at the Goodwill, because it feels so good not to have all that stuff that we don't need cluttering up our space, and it's so much easier to keep the house clean!

In other news, we are expecting some very special company in May: Dad, Sonya, and my sisters Jennifer and Emily, who Bella is soooooo excited about meeting!!!

Hopefully, you will not have to wait four more months for another blog. In the meanwhile, we are just enjoying playing with our little girl and watching her grow. It's the most awesome experience I've ever had!

Daddy and Daughter

It's that time of year again... not just time for the holidays, but time for Stephen to be swamped with work. As we all know, the great thing about being a teacher is having the summers off-- but for the rest of the year, being an English teacher is an all-consuming job, especially as the end of each semester nears. The workday doesn't end at 5:00 p.m., and the weekends are rarely "off," especially for someone with 96 students. I can't even remember the last time Stephen was able to come home after work, eat supper, and relax for the rest of the night. The last three months of each semester are ridiculously busy for him, beginning with the first round of essays he receives for grading.

Our lives have evolved around universities for the entire time we've known each other, so for better or worse, we've long been accustomed to the insanity of spending late nights in front of the computer screen and weekends without any free time. But now that we have Bella, I want things to be different. I don't ever want for Stephen to look back at his life and wish that he'd spent more time with Bella as she was growing up, because that is one wish that cannot be granted, and once this fleeting period of our life is over, that's it. There's no going back to Bella's childhood, and before we know it, she'll be too busy and cool for us.

So our challenge for this semester is to make family time a priority each and every day (as opposed to Stephen being engulfed by his work all day, and all night, which can very easily happen to him at this point in the semester). As the fall semester has progressed, we've found some semblance of a routine that works well for us and gives Stephen and Bella one-on-one time together (which means I get some much-needed solitude for myself as well)...

When the weather is nice, Stephen will often take Bella for a walk outside after he gets home from work. This gives him some exercise and a chance to release the stress of the day, Bella loves it, and I get some time alone to cook while listening to music of my choice (a relief after hearing automated tunes on Bella's toys all day).


He helps feed Bella her supper (or "slop," as he calls her mushy food) while I finish cooking our supper.


Since I'm the slowest eater on earth, Stephen usually ends up holding Bella and playing with her at the table while I finish my food. Then he entertains her while I clean up the kitchen. Sometimes this entertainment comes in the form of dancing with her, reading to her, or serenading her on the guitar.


Next comes Bella's most-loved part of the day, bath time!


Stephen does a great job of making bath time fun for her. By this point, he's ready for dessert, and often tries to get a nibble of her luscious side-meat.


If he's still hungry, Bella will usually let him take a nip at her toes.


And inevitably he has to blow on her belly to get some giggles.


Eventually, she finds her way into her p.j.s (and tries on a pink terrycloth wig).


Then it's time for baby to go to bed, and for Stephen to sit down in front of the computer for more grading.

All of this takes from two to three hours, and it's the highlight of our day. It's ironic, all these things Stephen does with Bella could be seen as babycare chores-- bathing, feeding, dressing, changing-- but they are the foundation of their bond. And after Stephen has done this nightly ritual with Bella, he's like a different person from the one who walked in the door after work. He's refreshed, relaxed, and happy. (I hate to think about how much fathers missed out on, back when they didn't participate in these joyful little baby tasks.) After a busy day, I can't think of any better reward for an overworked father than to spend time with his precious little girl. Bella always manages to brighten up Stephen's day with her irresistible baby charm.

The State Botanical Garden of Georgia

I've gotten way behind on posting my blogs... here are some pictures taken in October before Bella turned six months old, at the botanical gardens we're fortunate to have just a few miles from our house.



Bella giving Stephen a new 'do.


This little girl gets plenty of love!




Somebody loves her Daddy!


Bella's a little attached to her Mommy!


Picking flowers.


Checking out some echinacea. Bella couldn't keep her eyes off the flowers!


Excited!


My happy girl!


The last time we hung out at the Botanical Gardens, Bella was still in my belly! (And apparently I was wearing the same blue t-shirt.)

The Melting Point

Stephen's band played their third show a couple of weeks ago at The Melting Point, one of the most desirable music venues in Athens (chosen as one of the top 40 music venues in the country by Paste Magazine!). It's a cool historic building with a beautiful bar and semi-gourmet food served up at tables in front of an intimate stage. Stephen's parents came out to stay with Bella at home so that I could go to the show, so it was sort of our first date in seven months, even though it wasn't exactly a date... but it was still nice to go out past 7:00 p.m., and hang out with other adults! The guys had a blast playing there, Stephen sounded great, and I entertained myself by taking over 300 pictures, which I haven't been able to do at the other shows because Bella was always on my hip!









While Stephen's folks were here, they also watched Bella while I went to the doctor, the grocery store, and cooked... it's nice having someone around to babysit!

Roly Poly

Look who's decided she LIKES being on her tummy!



Just a couple of weeks ago, Bella had no interest whatsoever in rolling onto her stomach. Then one morning I had her doing tummy time on MY tummy, and something clicked. She realized she had a cool point of view from what Stephen calls the "Sphinx" position. That night, she made two complete rolls on her own, conveniently timed while she was being viewed by Dad, Mema, and Sonya via Skype, and she's progressed quickly from there. Today she rolled all the way across a room! My child is suddenly mobile. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!



I am SO not mentally ready for this. What happened to the newborn phase?? How is it over already? Can someone stop the clock, please?!

The good news is that I no longer have to fret over whether she's getting enough tummy time since she is getting plenty on her own. The bad news is that I can't seem to get our house baby proofed fast enough! Electric outlets and wires are obvious targets, but there are other things that I never considered. For example, I'm not so sure that I want Bella gnawing on the coffee table legs and the bottom hem of our couch slipcovers, but that is exactly what she managed to do this afternoon. Bella is delighted with all of the new territories and objects that are now within her domain. She is no longer confined to the pink blanket I place her on, or the toys I hand to her. I am finding more uses for the word "no" in my daily rhetoric with her, but she is oblivious to its meaning, and just looks at me with an angelic smile and a sweet baby giggle.







Look how she's pushing her little butt up into the air... she's trying to push herself around on the floor already. No luck with that for her yet, but I just know she's going to be creeping and crawling WAY too fast, and I am about to start burning an extra 500 calories a day from a new workout called "The Bella Boogie Chase."

Little Auburn Girl

It was easy deciding what Bella should be for her first Halloween: an Auburn cheerleader, of course! Those itty-bitty uniforms used to give me SERIOUS baby fever, so we thought it only appropriate that we get one for Bella!



And what a GREAT year it is to be an Auburn fan! Auburn is currently undefeated, ranked #1 in the BCS, AND is privileged to have the current #1 contender for the Heisman trophy, quarterback Cam Newton. So the great thing about this costume is that it can be worn several times... there's the Iron Bowl in a few weeks, and perhaps the SEC championship, then maybe, just maybe, the National Championship... Okay so maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself. But regardless, War Eagle!!!!

The Athens Mother's Center had a Halloween party Bella got dressed up for. (No trick-or-treating this year!) Luckily, most of the people who go there moved here from out of town, so there weren't too many die-hard baby Georgia fans (a.k.a. Auburn haters) to shun Bella =) Here's Bella with one of her baby buddies, 10-month-old Nicholas (a.k.a. Mickey Mouse). We saw sooo many cute costumes! I'm looking forward to when Bella can pick out her own costume and have fun on Halloween!